978-793-1553 fitz@johnfitz.com

Some Thoughts about Your Haiku…

by | Nov 13, 2015 | The Crafted Word Blog | 23 comments

I have had a go0d read so far reading your haiku. I have a couple of thoughts…

I never quite know how to teach how to use specific imagery.  When I say “specific” maybe I mean “real.” because every reader–wants to “see” what you are seeing in a real way.

  • avoid anything generic that might mean something totally different depending on who and where you are. The ocean is different all of the world. There are a million types of flowers, so give your flower the name: rose, tulip, dandelion. What is in the field? What bug is it? The art of the haiku is in creating an image and then creating a mood, a meaning, or an insight.
  • Emotions are tricky to write: joy and sadness, pain, sorrow don’t mean much on their own. Use specific imagery to create the sense of joy, sadness–or whatever emotion you are trying to capture in your haiku.
  • Get rid of ALL unneeded words!

Here is Basho trying to capture “persistence”

Autumn moonlight–
a worm digs silently
into the chestnut.

Here is Issa capturing beauty:

Blooming Garden
Moonlit Wind Blowing
Silver Fragrance

Here is Buson capturing the essence of manual labor:

Blow of an ax,
pine scent,
the winter woods.

My haiku techniques should really be accompanied by you searching out the haiku of the Japanese masters. Check out this site and see what  mean!

23 Comments

  1. Henry Patton
    Henry Patton on November 13, 2015 at 8:14 am

    Thanks for the feedback, Fitz.

  2. James Ewing
    James Ewing on November 13, 2015 at 9:23 am

    Thanks for this feedback Fitz, I am going to try to be more realistic with my Haiku now.

  3. Abhinav Tadikonda
    Abhinav Tadikonda on November 13, 2015 at 9:28 am

    Thanks for the feedback. I will definitely take some of these suggestions into consideration.

  4. Jack Folz
    Jack Folz on November 13, 2015 at 9:34 am

    Thanks for the feedback Fitz

  5. Charlie Cribb
    Charlie Cribb on November 13, 2015 at 9:34 am

    Thanks for the feedback. I hope I can make my writing better.

  6. Anonymous
    Anonymous on November 13, 2015 at 9:34 am

    I’m am not the best “haikuer” so hopefully this helps me.

    • Ben Ferrell
      Ben Ferrell on November 13, 2015 at 9:35 am

      That last one was me

  7. Nico Bowden
    Nico Bowden on November 13, 2015 at 9:35 am

    Thanks, this will help me with my future haikus

  8. Charlie Hutchinson
    Charlie Hutchinson on November 13, 2015 at 9:35 am

    Thanks for the feed back. I will use this for my following haikus.

  9. Nathan Soukup
    Nathan Soukup on November 13, 2015 at 9:36 am

    Thanks for the feedback.

  10. Hank Parker
    Hank Parker on November 13, 2015 at 9:36 am

    Thanks for these tips I will use these on my next haiku

  11. Nick Beck
    Nick Beck on November 13, 2015 at 9:36 am

    Next time I write a Haiku, I will be sure to include these ideas. Thanks for the feedback

  12. Whit
    Whit on November 13, 2015 at 9:38 am

    Thanks for the feedback. Who are those people? I’ve only heard of Basho.

  13. Julian Yang
    Julian Yang on November 13, 2015 at 12:18 pm

    I’ll make sure to encorporate this in my next haikus. Thanks

  14. Jake magee
    Jake magee on November 13, 2015 at 12:19 pm

    Thanks for the feedback about the haikus

    • Sean Okpoebo
      Sean Okpoebo on November 13, 2015 at 12:21 pm

      Ditto

  15. George von Weise
    George von Weise on November 13, 2015 at 12:20 pm

    Thanks, will definitely take this into consideration.

  16. Arthur
    Arthur on November 13, 2015 at 12:45 pm

    Thanks for the tips

  17. Nico Carere
    Nico Carere on November 13, 2015 at 1:24 pm

    Thanks for the feedback. I will try to make my writing better

  18. Logan Renneker
    Logan Renneker on November 13, 2015 at 1:29 pm

    I will be editing my Haikus,and I hope to make then great!

  19. Tim First
    Tim First on November 13, 2015 at 3:51 pm

    I understand why we shouldn’t say “Flower,” but that part of my poem. I felt like it needed to be vague.

    • Fitz
      Fitz on November 15, 2015 at 2:09 pm

      Ultimately, you are the poet and the decider…

  20. Greyson
    Greyson on November 15, 2015 at 1:32 pm

    Thanks for the feedback. I am excited to work even more on Haiku and poetry in general this year.