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Literary Analysis Paragraph Rubric

Literary Analysis Paragraph Rubric

 The Crafted Word Rubrics & Resources

The Literary Analysis Paragraph Rubric

 

Explicating Themes in Literature

The image above is a visual to help you see what a detailed paragraph includes: 

  1. The first triangle of the paragraph introduces the theme in a broad way, and then narrows it down to a more focused theme that you can effectively write about in a single paragraph.
  2. The blue rectangle is the central part of your paragraph. It contains the text reference and text support that “proves” your theme is evident in the actual text.
  3. The bottom triangle contains the head and heart, which, in many ways, should be the most interesting and thoughtful part of your paragraph. It is where you discuss the importance of the theme in the text support and text reference in the smoking gun. See how (as opposed to the upper triangle) it starts narrow and expands to allow you to logically tie back in to your broad theme in your concluding sentence.

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Common Literary Analysis
Paragraph Mistakes


I am under no illusion that my students are eagerly reading the fine print of my how-to books, but if you are reading this, you are one step closer to being a better writer because knowing what not to do is often as important as knowing what to do!  

I have compiled a short list of the most common mistakes writers make when using the literary analysis paragraph rubric.  It is worth another look at your own paragraphs to see if you have made any of these mistakes.

FORMATTING MISTAKES

That “first look” at a student’s essay is incredibly important to most teachers. It is our first clue that a student “cares” about the assignment—or doesn’t. It shows us whether or not a student has read and incorporated the details of the assignment into a writing piece.

In the case of the Literary Analysis Paragraph Rubric there are specific directions for where to put the assignment details: name, date, etc; there are guidelines for including a one-word or one phrase theme, and there is a place to put a guiding quote.

Follow any teacher’s guidelines for formatting, and he or she will be on your side after that quick and critical first look !

GUIDING THEME MISTAKES

This comprises the first third of your paragraph and guides the reader in the direction your paragraph. The three parts act together to clearly state the reason your paragraph exists.

  • Broad Theme: The most common mistake is to make this a long and complicated sentence.  The only purpose of the broad theme is to “engage” the readers interest by introducing an enduring theme and tying it into your narrow theme.
  • Narrow Theme: The most common mistake is to omit the one word theme and a specific reference to the literary piece in the sentence. This sentence shows how the broad theme is used in the literary piece.
  • One/Two Punch: Don’t go back to your broad theme here; this is the place to narrow down your narrow theme even further to a specific character, event or observation.

 

TEXT REFERENCE & SUPPORT MISTAKES

This should fill up the center third of your paragraph. It is the physical proof of your theme working within the text of your literary piece.

  • Setup: Oftentimes a writer does not provide enough specific detail for the reader to fully understand the context of the coming quote (the smoking gun). Be sure to fully create the “image” a reader needs to “see” by including a meaty and specific who, what, when, where, why leading into the actual text support, AKA: The Smoking Gun.
  • Smoking Gun: This can only be the actual text from the literary piece. The most common mistake is to forget to cite the source of the quote, or to forget to italicize the quote–or to forget to block quote the selection if it is longer than two lines on the page.

EXPLICATION & EXPLANATION MISTAKES

Head and Heart: This is the foundation of your paragraph. Without it, your paragraph will be as empty as it is shallow. It shows and tells the reader how your theme is relevant to your text reference. It makes reading your paragraph a worthwhile (edifying) experience.

  • Head and Heart: By far the most common mistake here is to write about the theme itself instead of how the theme is specifically used in the piece of literature you are analyzing—and even more specifically how the theme is used in your text reference. Check this section and make sure that “every” sentence refers back to the literary piece (and your narrow theme) in some way shape or form.

 

TRANSITION OR CONCLUSION

This part of your paragraph should signal your readers that they have either reached their destination or you are talking the next exit off the highway. There is no reason to be wordy here. Too many words is like trying to clear a muddy puddle with your hand. The most common mistake here is referencing your broad theme without referencing the piece of literature you just finished analyzing.

  • Get On: The biggest mistake when transitioning to a new paragraph is when there is no logical flow between paragraphs. My rule of thumb is that you “should” be able to put a conjunctive adverb (moreover, finally, however, etc) or a conjunction (so, yet, and,or, nor, for, but) between the last line of one paragraph and the first line of the next. If you can’t do that, there might be something more you need to do….
  • Get Out: It is critical to end a final or single paragraph with a sense of finality, so my advice is to finish it clean. The most common mistake here is to introduce a new thought that you haven’t already discussed in your paragraph–or you forget to refer back to your one-word theme AND the literary piece.  Never refer back only to the broad theme. This final sentence needs to capture your narrow theme PLUS the added insight of your explanation and explication.

 

PROOFREADING, EDITING & REVISING

Few things in a student’s life can be as aggravating as receiving a paper back that is full of swirls of red ink and hastily scrolled admonitions to spell correctly, include proper punctuation and grammar, avoid homophones and first person musings. More infuriating might be the fact that your teacher is ignoring your amazing and  insightful analysis just because of a few small writing mistakes.

In the end, a mistake is a mistake. All of these “must” be found and corrected by you. Proofread, edit and revise when your mind is fresh and concentration is not a Herculean and Sisyphus-like task.  Use a good grammar and spell checker. Let a friend who is particularly good at stuff like this take a look at your work.

Give a damn here and you will be amply rewarded!

The Literary Analysis Paragraph Rubric

“A mighty book requires a mighty theme.” 
~Herman Melville

The Literary Analysis Paragraph Rubric

  Literary analysis is a type of writing where a writer literally breaks a story down to its most basic elements and then analyzes how and why those elements work in that particular story. These elements include identifying important themes, comparing and contrasting stories and authors, defining writing techniques and devices—and anything else that relates to the way in which a story is structured and told.

Literary analysis deals only in what can be proved objectively via the text, and not because how and why a certain story makes you—as an individual—think and feel subjectively about that story. The Literary Analysis Paragraph #1 is designed to help any writer find and explicate the major themes in a story and to define the importance of these themes in the story. The fact that you, as the analyst, are dealing with objective and provable facts is the main reason why most teachers forbid the use of the “I” voice in this type of writing. It is here where I make the distinction between literary analysis and literary reflection: a literary reflection “reflects” your unique emotional and intellectual response to the story; whereas, a literary analysis “analyzes” the form, devices, style, and content of a story. In an analysis, the “I” is not needed and does not help you prove your point because the point is proved using verifiable facts. Throwing yourself into the mix just muddies the water and burdens your writing with unnecessary words and distractions.

The basic structure of the literary analysis paragraph rubric is, however, essentially the same as the narrative paragraph rubric: you open with a clear and concise guiding theme or topic [broad theme, narrow theme, one/two punch]; you offer supporting facts and proof [smoking gun]; and in your third section of the paragraph, you explain and explicate how your guiding theme relates to the story [head and heart]. Finally, you “get on or get out.” If you are writing a single paragraph, you get out with a sense of finality; if you are writing a multi-paragraph essay, you may need to find a way to transition in a logical and unforced way to the next paragraph in your essay. It is important as a reader, and even more so as a writer, to be able to understand the importance of themes in a piece of literature, for exploring the themes of being human—and being connected (or disconnected) to the rest of humanity is the essential role of any writer!

We don’t read because we care about a writer; and if you are a writer, you need to understand that nobody cares about “you” as a person any more than some guy living three towns over from you; however, we do care about ourselves, and if as a writer you put us in touch with a deeper side of our head and heart; if you pull on the strings of our imagination in such a way that we cry when you want us to cry, laugh when you want us to laugh, and think what you want us to think—then you have succeeded as a writer, and those people who do not care about you as a person will care about what you write, and they will beat a path to your door where they can find the pages that hold your words.

Follow the ten steps…

Literary Analysis Paragraph Rubric

 

     The golden rule of writers is to always know what your readers want and expect—and give it to them in well-crafted writing, which almost always means well-constructed paragraphs! I love using the term “well-crafted” because it implies that writing well requires a deliberate and attentive focus. Good writing is never finished; it is abandoned. Honestly: give yourself ninety minutes to two hours to finish this. A writer’s first words are seldom his or her best words. Over the years I have read and graded thousands of these paragraphs. It is not hard to figure out who gave a damn and who didn’t. It is obvious who reads the details of this rubric before creating his or her own paragraph. So do your best. Give a damn. It works. The image on the sidebar is a visual to help you see what a detailed paragraph includes: 

  1. The first triangle of the paragraph introduces the theme in a broad way, and then narrows it down to a more focused theme that you can effectively write about in a single paragraph.
  2. The blue rectangle is the central part of your paragraph. It contains the text reference and text support that “proves” your theme is evident in the actual text.
  3. The bottom triangle contains the head and heart, which, in many ways, should be the most interesting and thoughtful part of your paragraph. It is where you discuss the importance of the theme in the text support and text reference in the smoking gun. See how (as opposed to the upper triangle) it starts narrow and expands to allow you to logically tie back in to your broad theme in your concluding sentence.

Be sure to follow “all” of the details of the rubric explained in the steps below, and try your hand at a creating a well-crafted literary analysis paragraph—one that we call a “whamdammer” in my class! In the rubric that follows, I use an example paragraph written by Ryan Ewing one of my 8th grade students in 2013. The strength of Ryan’s paragraph is not just that it is a good paragraph; it s because he follows the details of the rubric throughout his paragraph. If you wish, replace his text with your own text, then cut and paste your words into a new document and save and submit as required by your teacher. phs. It is not hard to figure out who gave a damn and who didn’t. It is obvious who reads the details of this rubric before creating his or her own paragraph. So do your best. Give a damn. It works. The image on the sidebar is a visual to help you see what a detailed paragraph includes: 

  1. The first triangle of the paragraph introduces the theme in a broad way, and then narrows it down to a more focused theme that you can effectively write about in a single paragraph.
  2. The blue rectangle is the central part of your paragraph. It contains the text reference and text support that “proves” your theme is evident in the actual text.
  3. The bottom triangle contains the head and heart, which, in many ways, should be the most interesting and thoughtful part of your paragraph. It is where you discuss the importance of the theme in the text support and text reference in the smoking gun. See how (as opposed to the upper triangle) it starts narrow and expands to allow you to logically tie back in to your broad theme in your concluding sentence.

Be sure to follow “all” of the details of the rubric explained in the steps below, and try your hand at a creating a well-crafted literary analysis paragraph—one that we call a “whamdammer” in my class! In the rubric that follows, I use an example paragraph written by Ryan Ewing one of my 8th grade students in 2013. The strength of Ryan’s paragraph is not just that it is a good paragraph; it s because he follows the details of the rubric throughout his paragraph. If you wish, replace his text with your own text, then cut and paste your words into a new document and save and submit as required by your teacher.

#1: The Assignment Information:

Who are you and what are your writing about?

  • As Mae West said, “It is better to look marvellous than to feel marvellous.”
  • In that spirit,  create assignments that “look” good.
  • In the top right corner of your assignment post your name, class, section, assignment name and date.

For Example:

Ryan Ewing
Section One
Fitz English
Huck Finn Paragraph
5/20/20

#2. The Universal Theme

State the unifying theme!

A paragraph needs to have a unifying theme that is developed and explained throughout the paragraph. In this rubric, we are only writing about a single important theme that can be captured n a single word or short phrase.

  • Your one word or short phrase theme is the specific aspect of the human condition that is a central theme in the writing piece–but do not mention the writing piece here. It should be centered below your quote and above your opening paragraph in size 18, bold font.
  • Your theme should be one word (ideally) or a short phrase—not a full sentence.

For Example:

An Unlikely Friendship

#3. GUIDING QUOTE

 Quote from the text that captures your unifying theme.

This quote is by no means “necessary” for a good paragraph, and you would not include it in an essay, but it is a good practice when writing a paragraph, and helps to keep you focused on the theme of your paragraph–and it sets the tone, mood and direction for your reader.

  • Choose a quote from the writing piece” that fully captures the theme you wish to explore in your paragraph.
  • This quote is the main source for your text reference and text support in your paragraph.
  • This can be longer or shorter than you will need or use in your paragraph.
  • Center your quote above your paragraph in italics (No quotation marks.) Be sure to cite your source using brackets: For example, [The Odyssey, Book VII, Lines 331-335]

For Example:

Well, I warn’t long making him understand I warn’t dead. I was ever so glad to see Jim. I warn’t lonesome now. I told him I warn’t afraid of HIM telling the people where I was. I talked along, but he only set there and looked at me; never said nothing. 

[The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Chapter VIII]

#4: The Broad Theme

The Universal Theme of the Paragraph!

This is your first sentence of a body paragraph. In a way, it is almost like the “title” of your paragraph. It is meant to indicate the direction of the paragraph in a compelling and interesting way by creating a clear, concise, and memorable statement of a universal theme—a universal reality that relevant, interesting and compelling to your readers.

  • Do not mention the writing piece in this sentence because this sentence is supposed to introduce the theme of your paragraph in a general way that is interesting to a potential reader.
  • Oftentimes, especially in a longer, multi-paragraph essay, it makes sense to remove this broad theme, but in a one-paragraph response, I’d leave it in there.

For Example:

  • Nothing beats spending time with a good friend.

#5. The Narrow Theme

Introduce the Theme in the Literature You Are Analysing 

This is essentially the more focused topic sentence of your paragraph—and as such, it is the most important sentence in your paragraph! The Narrow Theme narrows down your theme in a specific way by writing a phrase or sentence that captures how your one-word theme is used in the literature you are analysing. This is your “clear, concise and memorable” topic sentence.

  • Be sure to include a specific reference to the writing piece AND a specific reference to your one-word theme in this sentence. 

  • The narrow theme is the sentence that “steers” your reader in the direction you want him or her to go, and it acts as a reminder to your readers why “exactly” you are writing this paragraph.

For Example:

In the book, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, by Mark Twain, Huck and Jim grow to be two inseparable friends that set out on a great journey together.

#6: The One/Two Punch

Really Narrow Down Your Theme!

  • Follow your Narrow Theme with one or two more sentences with what I call the one/two punch that add detail or explanation to your theme and narrows down the topic even further.

  • Be sure to mention your theme again in this sentence!

  • Think narrow. Beware of creating a series of new topic sentences in your one/two punch.

  • At the end of your one/two punch, your readers should have a clear and extremely focused idea of the direction of your paragraph.

For Example:

The two companions go through a lot over their time together, but they never give up on each other.  Jim and Huck are as different as people can be, physically; however, it is their similar minds that bring them together as friends.

What about exploring and writing about more than one theme in a single paragraph?

The Literary Analysis Rubric is designed to help writers explicate individual themes in individual paragraphs, but there are occasions where you need or want to explore two or more themes in a single paragraph.

With a bit of tweaking, you can still use the basic rules of this rubric and weave in a discussion and exploration of additional themes within the same paragraph.

My one rule is that there needs to be either a symbiotic relationship between the themes OR an antagonistic relationship that develops in such a way in the story that it is important to discuss the relationship between these themes.

For Example:

Friendship and Hospitality are both major themes in The Odyssey, and it makes a lot of sense to describe the relationship between these two themes.

Likewise, Fate and Free Will are important—although opposite—themes that recur throughout The Odyssey; hence, exploring the roles and relationship of these contradictory themes in the same paragraph makes a lot of sense.

 

Things to remember…

  • Be sure to introduce all of the themes in your broad theme/narrow theme/one-two punch.

  • In your setup and smoking gun, do your best to find a single source of text reference and text support that show both or all of your themes in action.

  • In your head and heart be sure to show how the themes work together or against each other).

  • If any of this is difficult to do, then maybe combining these themes in the same paragraph is not a wise idea!

#7: The Setup

Add Text Reference: Who? What? When? Where? Why?

The setup is the text “reference” that describes in detail (and explicates) the “scene” leading in to your quote (the smoking gun) from the literary piece. The setup and the smoking gun work together to add the “proof” that you have read and studied the piece of literature you are analysing.  Without the smoking gun, you are just rambling around and going nowhere—unless your readers are already fully aware of everything that happens in your piece of literature.

  • The setup to your smoking gun should include a who, what , when, where, why reference to a scene from the piece of literature you are analysing.
  • Use specific images and actions to describe the scene leading into the quote (smoking gun!)
  • Notice the colon Ryan uses to “introduce” the quote.
  • Notice, too, that he describes this scene in the present tense!
  • And he reinforces the theme of friendship again!

For Example:

In the first couple of days after he ran away from his pap’s house, Huck feels very much alone in the vast world that he is hiding in: no friends, no nothing—that is, before he finds Jim.  One day, while Huck is out exploring the island, he stumbles upon Jim’s camp; while he is appalled that Jim would run away from Ms. Watson, he is happy that he now has a companion on the island.  Even though Jim thinks Huck is a ghost at first, Huck is quick to convince him that he is not:

#8: The Smoking Gun

Adding Quotes The Proof That the Theme Is in the Story!

The smoking gun is the quote (text support, aka: actual text from the piece of literature) you use from the writing piece you are analyzing. A literary analysis without text support is like an egg without a yolk!

  • Text reference (setup) and text support (smoking gun) work together to prove you’ve read and analyzed the text and prepares your reader for your head and heart section of the paragraph.

  • NOTE: Always include the quote reference after your quote in brackets or parentheses.  For example: [The Odyssey, Book One, Lines 234-237]

  • It is not always necessary to include the title if it is obvious what literary piece you are writing about.
  • “If” your quote is less than two lines as it appears in the final text, put quotation marks at the beginning and end of the quote.  Put the quote itself in italics. [This is a personal preference of mine and not a universal “rule” because I feel it helps to identify your text support more clearly and cues the reader more effectively that you are utilizing a quote.]

  • If the quote is three lines or more, put the quote in italics without quotation marks; put your quote reference under the quote; create a new paragraph for the quote, and finally, indent (block quote) the whole quote.

  • Remember not to indent the first line of the head and heart that comes after the quote because it is still a part of a single paragraph.

For Example:

Well, I warn’t long making him understand I warn’t dead. I was ever so glad to  see Jim. I warn’t lonesome now. I told him I warn’t afraid of HIM telling the people  where I was. [The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Chapter VIII]

Using Outside Source Analysis

We only write well about that which we know well, so it is important that a scholar “studies and researches” his or her topic as thoroughly as possible before writing.

It is perfectly acceptable (and I think desirable) to include some references from reputable sources that support your own conclusions and analysis. It not only shows that you are not alone in your thinking, it also shows that you have done more than simply express your own thoughts—it shows you have researched and documented more “proof” that your analysis is valid.

How to cite outside sources…

  • It is imperative that you cite any outside source that you use. It is unwise and unethical if you don’t cite in a clear and acceptable way.
  • Ask your teacher which format is acceptable. If you are writing on your own, chose the style you wish: MLA, APA, Chicago, etc.
  • If you are not sure how to cite a source, look it up online.  There are some great resources out there, such as citelighter.com, easybib.com, and a host of others.

 

Things to remember…

  • The best place for outside source material is in the Head & Heart.
  • Don’t let outside source material overwhelm your own insights and analysis. It is best to use the source to simply validate your own insights.
  • Be sure your outside source is from a reputable scholar—not Sparksnotes, Lit Charts or crowd-sourced sites such as Wikipedia. There is “nothing” wrong with using these sites to help you better understand a writing piece, but it is not considered valid research to cite a semi-anonymous source for a literary analysis.

#9: The Head & Heart

Analyze, Explain & Explicate the Theme in the Passage

This is the “brains & brilliance” part of your paragraph. It shows your reader your how much you know and how insightful you are about your theme and how it used in the literary work you are discussing

  • Write at least four sentences that, explicate, illustrate, and elaborate upon your topic sentence and the “Theme” as it used in literary piece, specifically the smoking gun!

  • Most teachers do not want you to use the “I” voice, so try to avoid it. You are proving that your theme is in the story, so use the story as proof, not a bunch of “I think…” sentences!

  • This is where your passion and knowledge come into play.  If you don’t have much head and heart, then I immediately sense a lazy or ill-prepared student—or even worse….

  • Notice that Ryan includes several references to friendship (his theme) in his head and heart—which is especially important in the final sentence leading into his conclusion.

  • Many writers, in their quest to sound smart and informed, fall into the trap of introducing new and/or irrelevant topics into a paragraph—usually at this point, or they add in more text support. Don’t!!! It distracts and ticks off good readers, and it confuses and frustrates weak readers. Either way, you lose your audience, which is not a good way to earn a living as a writer.

  • If you have a new topic that you feel is awesome, then have the decency to give that topic its own paragraph.

For Example:

Huck declares a friend as someone who he can trust; by saying that he was not scared of Jim telling on him, he is showing that he trusts Jim as a good friend.  He knows that Jim is the kind of person that would comfort him and give him good company–that is exactly what a good friend does.  Huck is white kid who hasn’t quite yet developed feeling for others. Jim, on the other hand, is a slave; however, their similar taste for adventure is what ultimately makes them friends.

Note: It is important to keep hammering home the main theme word or phrase–though you can (and maybe should) use a bit more variation than in here.

10. GET OR GET OUT: Conclude clearly or transition to a new paragraph This is the concluding sentence or sentences that close out your thoughts (get out) or “transition” to a potential new paragraph (get on). Try to make your conclusion as clear, concise and memorable as your opening sentence.

  • If this paragraph is “transitioning” to a new paragraph, (as is usually the case in an essay) craft your words in a way that sets up the next paragraph. This creates what is called “logical flow.”
  • If the paragraph is simply ending, (as in a brief literature response) try and find a way of tying back into your opening theme in a new and refreshing way.  This gives your readers a concise and confident visual and mental cue that you have said all you need to say.
  • Be sure—one more time—to include a reference to your theme in the conclusion.

For Example: Throughout the rest of the novel, Jim and Huck remain close friends.  They come to realize that neither of them could have evaded capture for so long if it weren’t for their friendship.  For Huck and Jim, their friendship has allowed them to succeed and thrive together on a difficult journey.

The Rule of Three

The Shop Teachers Rule of Three

  • A writing piece is never finished. It is abandoned. Once you are this far, now is the time to go back, edit, revise and to do whatever needs to be done to make this a worthy and enduring piece of literature in its own right.

  • Find three areas or sentences that you can make better. If you can’t or won’t do this, then you are light years away from being a writer.

  • Often you can find a better broad or narrow theme sentence somewhere else in the paragraph. You can almost always find a more clear and effective way to write a sentence than you wrote on your first try.

  • Be sure to read the paragraph aloud, use text to speech to listen, consider making it into a podcast, share it on your blog, and/or post it to your portfolio because you are the writer now. This paragraph is your gift to the world.

  • If the rule of three was too easy (meaning you easily found mistakes) do it again…and again if you have to.

I know this is a lot of work for a paragraph (usually at least to hours of good work)–but it is what you need to do if you want to create a clear, concise, compelling, well supported and interesting literary analysis paragraph!

Copy and Paste the Completed Paragraph

Put it all together and edit and revise as needed!

After you have completed all of the steps, put it all together, proofread carefully, edit and revise, and turn in the assignment as required. I have put in bold how often Ryan reinforces the theme of friendship in this paragraph. This emphasis indicate that the paragraph has unity, while the rubric creates logic flow; however, it is the way you craft your words and sentences that gives the paragraph fluency and flow–which is as important as anything!

Ryan Ewing 
8th Grade 
Fitz English
Section One
Huck Finn Paragraph
5/20/2013

An Unlikely Friendship 

Well, I warn’t long making him understand I warn’t dead. I was ever so glad to see Jim. I warn’t lonesome now. I told him I warn’t afraid of HIM telling the people where I was. I talked along, but he only set there and looked at me; never said nothing. 

[The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Chapter VIII]

          Nothing beats spending time with a good friend.  In the book, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, by Mark Twain, Huck and Jim grow to be two inseparable friends that set out on a great journey together.  The two companions go through a lot over their time together, but they never give up on each other.  They are as different as people can be, physically; however, it is their similar minds that bring them together as friends.  In the first couple of days after he ran away from his pap’s house, Huck feels very much alone in the vast world that he is hiding in; no friends, no nothing—that is, before he finds Jim!  One day, while Huck is out exploring the island, he stumbles upon Jim’s camp; while he is appalled that Jim would run away from Ms. Watson, he is happy that he now has a companion on the island.  Even though Jim thinks Huck is a ghost at first, Huck is quick to convince him that he is not:

Well, I warn’t long making him understand I warn’t dead. I was ever so glad to  see Jim. I warn’t lonesome now. I told him I warn’t afraid of HIM telling the people  where I was.” [The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Chapter VIII] 

Huck declares a friend as someone whom he can trust; by saying that he was not scared of Jim telling on him, he is showing that he trusts Jim as a good friend.  He knows that Jim is the kind of person that would comfort him and give him good company—and that is exactly what a good friend does.  Huck is white kid who hasn’t quite yet developed feeling for the black slaves that have been so much a part of his life. Jim, on the other hand, is a slave; however, their similar taste for adventure is what ultimately makes them friends.  Throughout the rest of the novel, Jim and Huck remain close friends.  They come to realize that neither of them could have evaded capture for so long if it weren’t for their friendship.  For Huck and Jim, their friendship has allowed them to succeed and thrive together on a difficult journey.

Now that’s a fine looking paragraph!

A+

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If we don’t learn from what we do, we learn little of real value. If we don’t make the time to explore, reflect and rethink our ways of doing things, we will never grow, evolve and reach our greatest potential or tap into the possibilities in our lives.

I have been here before

Trying to pull a final day Back into the night, execute Some stay of time, Some way to wrap The fabric of Summer Around the balky, frame of Fall, sloughing My skin, unable to stop This reptilian ecdysis— This hideous morphing Into respectability. My students, tame As...

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The Concord Town Dump

When I was a kid it was the dump. Every Saturday morning my father and I would pile a week’s worth of trash into the back of our Plymouth Fury station wagon and head the to the Concord town dump. Back then the dump was a place of perpetually burning fires and massive...

Sentence Building Rubric

Sentence Building Rubric

 

Essential Detail…Images & Actions…Parallel Structure…

Similes & Metaphors…Muscular Verbs

 

All the Christmases roll down towards the two-tongued sea, like a cold and headlong moon bundling down the sky that was our street; and they stop at the rim of the ice-edged, fish-freezing waves, and I plunge my hands in the snow and bring out whatever I can find. In goes my hand into that wool-white bell-tongued ball of holidays resting at the rim of the carol-singing sea, and out come Mrs. Prothero and the firemen.

~Dylan Thomas, A Child’s Christmas in Wales

 

Words by themselves don’t mean much—an uttered sound that means something or performs some small task to splice words together into phrases and fragments that focus and complete thoughts and become sentences that morph into meaning—and sometimes magic.

And that is pretty cool. So cool that I have spent some forty years and more trying to figure out the art and craft of writing well. Many another pen has spent more time more assiduously perfecting the writer’s craft, and there is nothing here that breaks new ground. Good writers will be equally appalled at what is missing as they might be impressed by what is included. 

But these five techniques are not for them, but rather for those aspiring souls who simply want to become better, more confident and more capable writers by learning and practicing some essential writing skills for writing better sentences. 

Try these on for size and see how they fit. They will last a long time.

~Fitz

 

 #1: Essential Details

 

Who…What…When…Where…Why?

 

     One of the most common problems with sentences is that they just don’t tell the reader enough or give enough detail to inform and edify a reader. In the same way that any writing piece should always cover who/what/when/where/why, so should sentences—whenever possible. In many cases, this information might be in the sentence before or after, but it is certainly good practice to incorporate who/what/when/where/why into sentences that benefit from this attention to detail.

 

Here are two simple rules for helping to make your sentences more informative, detailed, and interesting to your readers. 

 

Fill in the Blanks:

Don’t make a reader try to figure out what you are writing about. Fill in the details that help a reader see and know what you are writing about.

For Example…

~He hit a home-run that ended the game. (Dullsville)

~With two outs gone and David Ortiz saved the day with a towering walk-off home run over the Green Monster in left field. (This was a great game!)

 

Be Specific:

Identify every “thing” you state. Give people names and titles. Tell us what cereal you are eating, what car you are driving and what cleats you are wearing. Doing this enables a reader’s mind to “see” exactly what you want he or she to see (and feel) and your writing is now infinitely more refreshing, lively and informative to read.

For Example…

~I went fishing today, and it was fun (Holy horrible)

~Billy, Owen and I went to White’s Pond today at five in the morning and fished with spinners and spoons until we filled our basket with enough trout, bass and catfish to feed a starving army. (Now this is a real fish story!)

 

~I got a bike today. (I’m not jealous)

~My rich Uncle Fred surprised me on my birthday with a Yeti Cycles SB6 Turq XX1 Eagle Mountain Bike.
 (Now I am…Look it up!)

 

 

Here is a poem that uses essential details to create the scenes and actions within the poem…

 

Making It Work

EJ and Pipo squat in the driveway
and poke their heads through
the wheel-well  and pass
a half inch socket
and a cold can of WD 40
to my bloodied hand.

I shout out to them:
“The transmission cooler line
is completely shot,
and the thread
on the flare nut
is stripped bare—
it turns, but won’t catch,
into the radiator.
In short: we’re screwed.”

Bellied on the crumbled paving
I hear them giggling
and splashing in the oily cold
puddle I am soaked in.

While Pipo runs to get
the 
extra red hose we used
to fix the heater on the bus,
I send EJ to get the cement
we used to fix the gasket
on the wood stove.

In my sarcophagus
under the old Buick wagon,
I fumble through my pockets
and find some hose clamps
that just might work.

EJ slathers the flare nut
in an icing of black glue.
And so Pipo can use
his beloved tape measure,
he cuts me a piece of red hose
18 ½ inches long—exactly.

There is no turning back now:
I cut out the old line
and jam the flare nut
into the fitting
until it sets.

For a few minutes, everything
is dead serious:
Pipo lays on his belly
and fits the 18 ½ inch hose
to the cleanly cut ends
of the cooler lines.

EJ takes his flathead
and tightens the hose clamps,
while I keep
the damn flare nut
from moving.

And in the stale air,
beneath a 1988 Pontiac LeSabre Wagon—
soaked in mud, love, oil and anti-freeze—
I am the luckiest man alive. 

 ~Fitz

 

Exercise#1:  

Write five sentences that include of the who? what? when? where? and why? details. The order of who/what/when/where/why is not important. Put the details (who, etc) within parentheses in bold. 

For Example…

The young soldier (who) lugging a fifty-pound pack (what) struggled all night (when) through the jungle (where) to reach his base camp before the enemy could reach him (why).

 

Exercise#2:  

Add essential details to these sentences to make them more full and informative. You can change any words, but you can’t change the idea of the original sentence.

~Supper was good.
~The game was exciting.
~I love going to interesting places.
~I have a really cool teacher.
~I should do my homework.

 

Exercise#3:  

Pretend you are a news writer and write a newspaper article about a game or event you saw or were participated in. (300 words minimum)

 

#2: Imagery and Action

 

Show, don’t tell…Simple, but true…

 

     It is our job as writers to spark our readers’ imaginations! A lot of writers forget that readers are not “in your head.” The readers can’t “see” anything that is not “specifically” described. Simply saying, “It was a cold day” can mean something completely different to different people depending on the time of year or their place on the planet. So wake up! As you write, be conscious of your reader’s inherent predicament, and be sure to give them the needed imagery and actions to make your thoughts become less vague and more real.

 

Here are three techniques for creating effective imagery and action.


Image & Action:

Using images and actions to create a vivid and visual experience for your reader is a powerful method for engaging and keeping your audience interested in what you are writing—and that has to be the primary goal of all writers. The most effective images and actions are created using specific nouns and verbs—a specific something doing a specific something.

For Example…

~She ran down the street. (This doesn’t tell us much)

~Ginny down the dusty road prancing like a drunk peacock. (I used a simile to create an image)


~The red car pulled out of the driveway. (We have no idea what this really “looks” like)

~The classic red Mustang convertible barreled out of the gravely driveway and onto the tame pavement on Birch Street. (Oh yeah, a cool car and a crazy dude in a sleepy town!)

 

Image on Image + Action:

Juxtaposed images connected with a prepositional phrase give the reader more context to see (and feel) the action. Create images using nouns and “essential” adjectives. An essential adjective is something like: a “red” rose; whereas, a non-essential adjective would be a “beautiful” rose.

Then let the images do the action!

 

For Example…

~The rubber ball in the new snow slowly disappears. 

~Three barefoot children stomp a dark puddle on the dry street

~On a withered branch a solitary crow caws.

 

Narrowing and Expanding:  Give me the universe, and I will show you a pebble. Give me a pebble and I will show you the universe…

     I often teach this technique of big to small—small to big as a way to develop a theme or thesis in an essay, but it is also an effective technique that creates a compelling scene using complementary, yet often disparate, images. It is similar to using the “image on image” technique, except here we emphasize the contrasting size and action between two images to create a single image.

 

For Example…

~The moon drifts slowly over a dark and angry sea.

~Not even yesterday’s blizzard could pluck the last leaf from the weary oak.

~We saw the headlights winding slowly up the long road on the broad plateau.

 

Here is a poem that uses all three Images & Actions Techniques to tell a story of a simple day at the beach with the family…but with a deeper message.

 

The Tide

They are building a world
and the plastic is fading:
Margaret and Eddie’s
buckets are split,
pouring out the warm Atlantic
as they race
along the tidal flat,
filling pools connected
by frantically dug canals.

Tommy squats naked
and screams in guttural joy
at the solitary horseshoe crab
donated by a stranger
with a large belly
and a huge smile.

Charlie thrashes through the shallows
chasing crabs
and impossible minnows.

Emma is happy
to let only the wind
fill her net.

Pipo steps warily
and warns us sternly
in his broken English
to watch out for
the massive toad l
urking
in the undertow.

Kaleigh stands far away,
her toes lapped
by the edge of gravity.

She is almost a teenager.
I see her
framed in a setting sun,
stretching out her arms,
holding back
The inevitable tide.

     ~Fitz

 

Exercise #1:

Use specific imagery and actions to make these sentences more image rich.

The tree fell in the woods.
The plane flew through the sky
I am not feeling well today.
The baseball game was fun.
I like ice cream.

 

Exercise #2:

Write five sentences using Image on Image + Action

 

Exercise #3:

Write five sentences using Narrowing & Expanding 

 

Exercise #4:

Write a paragraph or poem that uses all three Imagery and Action techniques:

 

3. Parallel Structure

Repetition for Effect

 
O my Luve is like a red, red rose
   That’s newly sprung in June;
O my Luve is like the melody
   That’s sweetly played in tune.
~Robert Burns
 
 

 

    Parallel Structure (also known as parallelism) employs the repetition of words, word types, and phrases to emphasize and amplify an idea, thought, experience or fact by adding a rhythmic and powerful cadence to prose and poetry (where it is also called “anaphora).

 

Types of Parallel Structure:

 

Words:

Sometimes a single word repeated a few times can add a compelling effect to a series of thoughts:

For Example… 

~Believe in yourself; believe that you are the master of your fate, and believe that what you are pales beside what you can be.

Word Types:

Several adjectives used in a series of words creates a rhythmic and powerful parallel structure

For Example… 

~You are rude, insensitive and selfish when you could be sweet, kind and giving.

Phrases:

Phrases are like short riffs or–a series of notes in a song–that insert an added punch to the melody. In writing, it is similar. A short series of words “phrased” in an interesting way draws attention to itself and creates a powerful cadence and rhythm to a writing piece. It can be used to effectively organize, clarify, unify, and emphasize a specific point, thought, idea or fact. It is a rhetorical technique that has been employed for thousands of years because IT WORKS!  

A wise writer knows when and where (and when not) to use Parallel Structure to draw attention to an important passage.

For Example… 

In his “I Have a Dream” speech, Martin Luther King utilizes parallel structure to amplify his thoughts on human justice. The dream he expressed here could just be stated, but by use of parallel structure his dreams are more powerful and memorable.

I say to you today, my friends, so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.”

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I have a dream today.

 

In this biblical poem, the use of the phrase “a time to” introduces a series of contrasting realities, quite effectively I might add as this has been a popular poem for several thousand years.There is a time for everything,

There is a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
 a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
 a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

      ~Ecclesiastes 3

 

Creating Clarity & Conciseness:

Parallel structure can also be used to express your ideas in a more concise and compelling way.

For Example… 

Original Sentence: Suzie is always willing to help around the house, and she does chores with being asked, while all the time seeming happy to help out. (25 words)

New Sentence: Suzie is always willing to help around the house, to do chores without asking, and to seem happy to help out. (21 words)

 

Exercise #1:

Create five sentences that show the use of single words to create parallel structure. Use the word at least three times in the sentence.

 

Exercise #2: 

Create five sentences that show the use of word types (adjectives, nouns or verbs) to create parallel structure. Use the word type at least three times in the sentence.

 

Exercise #3: 

Create five sentences that show the use of similar phrases to create parallel structure. Use the phrase at least three times in the sentence.

 

Exercise #3:

Rewrite these sentences by adding parallel structure. Your new sentence should retain the same meaning but be more clear and concise (and fewer) words—which is always a good practice as a writer. 

Original Sentence: The mountains in New Hampshire are beautiful because they are big and rocky, and they are majestic, which makes them breathtaking to see. (24 words)

Original Sentence: I have always hated to do writing exercises that have no purpose, and that are hard to understand and which take forever to finish. (24 Words)

Original Sentence: I am the kind person who likes to play outdoors and go for walks in the woods, and I also like to climb big trees. (25 words)

    

 

4. Similes & Metaphors

The Power of Comparison 

 

Similes:

Adding a simile to a sentence is a way to spark a reader’s imagination by adding a new and more powerful image into the sentence that compares two things that are not alike, usually using the word “like” or “as” to make the link. 

For Example…

~That plumber smells weird. (What’s weird to you might not be weird to me)
~“He smelled like a plumber’s handkerchief.”  ~ Raymond Carver  (Yes, that is a weird smell

~The lion roared loudly. (So dull! All lions do the same)
~The lion roared like a monstrous hurricane bearing down on a rocky coast. (Now we’re talking. Get out of his way!)

~He was really cold. (How cold is he?)
~He was as cold as a freeze pop in an ice cube tray. (Now I know how cold he really is!)

~That kid is fast. (Compared to what?)
~That kid is as fast as a runaway train. (But now I “see” how fast he is!)

 

Here is a famous example of similes (and parallel structure!) being used in a poem…

 
O my Luve is like a red, red rose
   That’s newly sprung in June;
O my Luve is like the melody
   That’s sweetly played in tune.
 
So fair art thou, my bonnie lass,
   So deep in luve am I;
And I will luve thee still, my dear,
   Till a’ the seas gang dry.
 
Till a’ the seas gang dry, my dear,
   And the rocks melt wi’ the sun;
I will love thee still, my dear,
   While the sands o’ life shall run.
 
And fare thee weel, my only luve!
   And fare thee weel awhile!
And I will come again, my luve,
   Though it were ten thousand mile.

~Robert Burns

 

Exercise #1:

Use similes to make these sentences more interesting. Be as creative and daring as you wish!

~I am bored. 
~The day was hot.
~The meeting was long.
~The hamburger was horrible.
~I am excited to go on vacation.

 

Exercise #2:

Now try writing five sentences of your own from scratch!

 

Like any writing technique, you want to use similes with care—like sprinkling salt on your food. You don’t want them everywhere, but when it feels right, go for it. You can always edit and revise later.

 

Metaphors:

Simply put, a metaphor states that one thing “is” another thing. It is used to make a comparison that one thing has the qualities of another thing. Unlike a simile, a metaphor can be used throughout a writing piece.

For Example…

~My teacher is mean and unpredictable! (So is mine)
~My teacher is a rabid beast! (Oh, man, that’s horrible!)

~I am really strong. (How strong are you?)
~I am a molten ball of iron. (Yikes! I won’t mess with you.)

~Everyday my mother hounds me to clean my room. (Must be messy)
~I come home every day to a fluttering, chattering bird pecking me until I clean my nest. (Now this is a tough situation!)

~When that pretty girl walks down the hall, I get flustered and say and do stupid things. (It’s ok. You just get embarrassed easily)
~When that pretty girl walks down the hall, I become a drooling puppy dog wagging my tongue more than my tail. (What a foolish, lovestruck puppy you are. I have to see this sometime!)

 

Here is an example of metaphor being used in a poem… 

 

I have been here before

Trying to pull a final day
Back into the night, 
Trying to execute
Some stay of time,
Some way to wrap
The fabric of Summer
Around the balky,
frame of Fall, sloughing
My skin, unable to stop
This reptilian ecdysis—
This hideous morphing
Into respectability.

My students, tame
As lab mice, won’t understand
My unblinking eyes,
The hissing of my speech,
The lisping of my tongue,
The expansive hinge of my jaw
Or my insatiable appetite—
Until I swallow them whole
Into my elongating belly, feasting
On their impeccable,
Transient joy.

     ~Fitz

Exercise #3: 

Use metaphors to make these sentences more interesting. Be as creative and daring as you wish!

    • I am bored. 
    • The day was hot.
    • The meeting was long.
    • The hamburger was horrible.
    • I am excited to go on vacation.

 

Exercise #4: 

Now try writing five sentences of your own sentences using metaphors!

 

Exercise #5: 

Write a poem that uses metaphor 

5. Muscular Verbs

The right tool for the job

   

       There are a gazillion verbs to choose from in the English language, so why use the same tired old verbs over and over? A strong verb adds more power, punch and clarity and conciseness to your writing piece. Anytime you feel the need to add an adverb to a verb, you should think long and hard to find a “muscular” verb that more effectively creates and describes the action.

For Example…

~That new kid runs so fast up the hill. (OK, but so common)
~That new kid bolts up the hill. (Better and more clear and concise!)

~That new kid always shows off his skills on the soccer field . (Not bad, but an overused phrase.)
~That new kid continually flaunts his skills on the soccer field . (A better single verb that is more vivid, specific and powerful!)

~I am confused by this writing technique. (Such a common verb)
~I am bewildered by this writing technique. (A better choice that has a more specific meaning!)

 

How to find more muscular verbs…

      All of us are limited—and enabled—by our vocabularies. The best way to cultivate and grow a more extensive range of words to choose from is pretty simple–live a literate life. “A literate life” means reading broadly and deeply, listening and mimicking words you hear and writing thoughtfully and often—and yes, studying vocabulary; however, just knowing the meaning of a word is a sad substitute for experiencing words in the rich context of reading, writing  and conversation, but it is a start.

My emphatic suggestion is to learn to love highlighting. To this day, I never read anything without some way to highlight interesting words, phrases, and passages. Whether you use a pencil, pen, or digital highlighter does not matter. Doing it matters because it forces you to stop and think and learn. When you find yourself in the midst of creating a writing piece and the verb (or any word) just doesn’t feel right, use a synonym finder and figure out if another word is more precise and effective. thesaurus.com is a good start, but whatever works best for you is the way to go. Just be sure that the synonym you choose actually works for you and not against you. Easier said than done, but that is a big factor to consider.

For most of you, your head is already full of awesome verbs. The trick is to find these verbs when you need them and to avoid using the same old same old over and over again. As you write, be aware of every verb you use; avoid the use of adverbs unless you have to, and learn to find joy in crafting sentences that sets minds on fire. In short: don’t be dull. It makes for a long life.

And miserable writing.

 

Here is an example of muscular verbs being used in a poem…

 

I did not expect this—

A cold night in early May,
Drowning in a spring gale,
drenching downpours,
Silting sands,
Petulant and moodful
Cutting a chaotic mosaic
Swallowed and melded
by chomping waves
Barking and gnawing
Up stoic dunes, curling,
Hissing fingers, clutching
Dissolving chunks
In a receding tide.

Headstrong grasses expect this,
But my tame and wizened life
Keeps me at a distance,
Spitting out my old aphorisms,
Taunting this angry sea,
Backpedaling down a glistening road,
looking back,
To what I once was.

~Fitz

 

Exercise # 5.1: 

Use better verbs in these sentences.

~I chased the squirrel.
~I threw the ball to Timmy.
~I think about you all day.
~The waves crashed on the beach.
~I walked through the lonely woods.
~He sat in the chair.
~The bird flew in the sky.
~The moon floated in the stars, and the stars twinkled.
~I ran home and watched Ginny swing on the swing-set.
~Fitz’s assignments make me want to yell and scream and pull my hair. 

 

Exercise # 5.2: 

Find five synonyms for each of these verbs. Highlight the one you like best for each series.

Change: verb, verb, verb, verb, verb

Build: verb, verb, verb, verb, verb

Drive: verb, verb, verb, verb, verb

Find: verb, verb, verb, verb, verb

Grasp: verb, verb, verb, verb, verb

Increase: verb, verb, verb, verb, verb

Inspire: verb, verb, verb, verb, verb

Overcome: verb, verb, verb, verb, verb

Raise: verb, verb, verb, verb, verb

Save: verb, verb, verb, verb, verb

 

Exercise # 5.3: 

Practice Active Reading: Highlight unfamiliar and/or interesting words–especially verbs. Highlight effective phrases. Highlight and annotate sentences ans passages that point to important themes and ideas.

 

y

 

Stones, Words & Walls

`Language is the gift—as well as the tool—that allows and enables us to appreciate, understand, and express the complexity and nuance of our inner and outer lives. Our language builds upon itself, and it evolves, as we evolve, to breathe the newest air of the universe. The right words bring clarity to chaos and echo long enough that those who listen will be enlightened, and those who read will be entranced by the mysterious alchemy of a shared language—and it is this sharing of words that we need to focus on. We need to let the words we use bubble up from the broth of shared experience, and as like minds congregate, you will find your audience as much as they will find you.  

I worked for a number of years building stone walls for John Bordman—a brilliant and orneryYankee curmudgeon who was insistent that every wall survive as a testament to eternity—in the hopes that I could learn everything I needed to learn about this “piling on of stones.” From early on in my apprenticeship, he would leave me at a site for hours on end to pick through a mountain of stones trying to find the stones that would “fit together” to make the wall. I placed my stones and squinted at them from a distance (just like John) to see if the hand of gravity (and not the vanity of man) had placed the stone. Invariably, when he returned, he would calmly and quietly destroy ninety percent of my day’s work. As critical as he was of society, he rarely crushed my fragile ego by criticizing my efforts. Instead, he would say things like, “Damn hard to find good stones in this pile!” While in the same breath he would add, “But, it’s all we have to work with.” He would then go on to craft a magnificent wall—a wall that will last for centuries—walls built out of the material at hand, walls that only a true connoisseur of stone walls will appreciate.

It didn’t take long to figure that building stone walls would take its toll on both the body and the fingers of a fledgling folksinger; however, in my world of metaphor, I carry those same stones with me as I struggle to build a song, a poem, a story—or this. Words are the stones we work with; and the more stones in our pile, the more we can build the wall of our dreams; but, equally important is the reality that a pile of good stone does not make a wall—as a thousand new vocabulary words won’t make you a better writer. John Bordman never went out and bought more stone just to have more to choose from; instead he always bought good stone in the first place: stone from walls that edge the fields (and what once was fields) all over New England—hand-picked stones culled from the wisdom of his experience: big, solid, interesting stones, already weathered by the storms and vicissitudes of time.

It’s not so much that we need a lot of obscure words as much as we need good words—and we need to recognize good words. If our experience of life is limited and shallow, our big words will only impress small minds, and they will alienate the truly wise. We need the experience of words used well: words used in elevated writing; words used in great speeches; words we hear and read and feel in meaningful ways; words that we see actually working to bring sense to the senseless. 

A truly extensive and effective vocabulary is built on an attentiveness to precise language; it means embracing the world of words used well; it means turning off asinine TV; it means measuring a book by the possibilities it presents, not by its rank on the bestseller lists, and it means discussions informed by wisdom and decorum—not polemics or politics. If you are a writer, it means entering your writer’s space with an open and disciplined mind. It means learning the craft and recognizing the art of writing well.

Words don’t say, they mean…