We are not finishing Walden, but we are finishing a good chunk of some of Thoreau’s influential passages and philosophical statements.
Before class on Thursday, upload the full abbrieviated Walden 1-4 and read the “rest” of the book slowly and deliberately. Highlight what you feel is the most important sentence or section from each paragraph. Restate (riff) it in your own words. You must be able to show me your work. If you reach an hour’s time working on this, you may stop and finish it for Friday.
We will discuss these paragraphs in class and try to discover the most basic “things” that Thoreau is trying to get at.
We will use these “things” to begin an essay that explicates several themes from the parts of Walden we have read–“or” you can focus on a single theme developed in one of the four chapters.
You guys are a great class. I mean that sincerely. What you do need to work on is getting your work turned in when and how I want it turned in.
By this point you should have turned in the Literary Reflections for the class periods so far this week. We can work on the next one in your next class. It is frustrating when the work is not there to be graded “when” I am doing the grading. It is frustrating when you do not comment on my blog posts as I have no idea whether you read them or not and if you have any questions.
The semester is winding down and these reflections are your final grades–an easy sixteen points in my book.
All you need to do is to write sincerely using “paragraphs;” use quotes to back up your thoughts, and spend a bit of time editing and proofreading and you turn in a pdf which looks good and reads fluidly and naturally–like your voice when you speak with me. Post it to your blog and make sure it looks just as good!
If you put in the time and effort now, you will be amply rewarded when we begin our next major essay after break.
Did you read this and get it. For your comment all you need to do is write a number between 50 and 100. Nothing else.
If you don’t, you have “failed” this test!
And you will be sad…
(These 250 words or so took me five minutes to write)
From what I have read so far, I have really loved the reflections. Hopefully, you have posted these to your blog, so every can see and read the diverse—but focused—way each of you has approached the assignment. There is one thing that many of you need to do—
Paragraph!!!
A big part of this reflection writing is for you to practice paragraph writing, to learn when you are shifting to a new thought and/or direction, and to do the proofreading and editing needed to make your reflection publishable: meaning, fit for people to read.
The document you turn in to iTunes U should also look good and be publishable.
I want you to write the reflections in class. Leave fifteen minutes for editing and publishing. This will give me a good idea of what a good production rate is for each of you.
As it is, I am asking you to write a bit less than fifteen words a minute. Not a lot, but not a little either. There is not a lot of room for screwing around.
So get to work…
In my Rocky story, Rocky is amply a metaphor for you guys writing without a rubric.
I have had a go0d read so far reading your haiku. I have a couple of thoughts…
I never quite know how to teach how to use specific imagery. When I say “specific” maybe I mean “real.” because every reader–wants to “see” what you are seeing in a real way.
avoid anything generic that might mean something totally different depending on who and where you are. The ocean is different all of the world. There are a million types of flowers, so give your flower the name: rose, tulip, dandelion. What is in the field? What bug is it? The art of the haiku is in creating an image and then creating a mood, a meaning, or an insight.
Emotions are tricky to write: joy and sadness, pain, sorrow don’t mean much on their own. Use specific imagery to create the sense of joy, sadness–or whatever emotion you are trying to capture in your haiku.
Get rid of ALL unneeded words!
Here is Basho trying to capture “persistence”
Autumn moonlight– a worm digs silently into the chestnut.
The devil is always in the smaller details, and it is these details that jump off the page when a reader is reading, a teacher is grading, or your boss is wondering why the heck he or she hired you in the first place.
I should not have to give you a checklist as all of these details are explained in the literary analysis paragraph rubric. It is as easy to make these mistakes as it is to avoid them.
First Look
Formatting
The most glaring errors—and the errors I catch most easily—are simple formatting errors and omissions of detail. Here is a list of the most common mistakes in formatting a literary analysis paragraph.
The document has the wrong file name.
Assignment information is missing or incomplete
The title is not centered
The quote is not centered, not in italics, or you do not cite the source of the quote.
You do not tab in your first sentence.
Book titles not capitalized or italicized.
Opening Paragraph
GUIDING THEME
This comprises the first third of your paragraph and guides the reader in the direction your paragraph. The three parts act together to clearly state the reason yourparagraph exists.
Broad Theme: The most common mistake is to make this a long and complicated sentence. The only purpose of the broad theme is to “engage” the readers interest by introducing an enduring theme and tying it into your narrow theme.
Narrow Theme: The most common mistake is to omit the one word theme and a specific reference to the literary piece in the sentence. This sentence shows how the broad theme is used in the literary piece.
One/Two Punch: Don’t go back to your broad theme here; this is the place to narrow down your narrow theme even further to a specific character, event or observation—and be sure to reference your theme word or phrase again.
Body Paragraphs
TEXT REFERENCE & SUPPORT
This should fill up the center third of your paragraph. It is the physical proof of your theme working within the text of your literary piece.
Setup: Oftentimes a writer does not provide enough specific detail for the reader to fully understand the context of the coming quote (the smoking gun). Be sure to fully create the “image” a reader needs to “see” by including a meaty and specific who, what, when, where, why leading into the actual text support,
Smoking Gun: This can only be the actual text from the literary piece. The most common mistake is to forget to cite the source of the quote, or to forget to italicize the quote–or to forget to block quote the selection if it is longer than two lines on the page.
EXPLICATION & EXPLANATION
Head and Heart: This is the foundation of your paragraph. Without it, your paragraph will be as empty as it is shallow. It shows and tells the reader how your theme is relevant to your text reference. It makes reading your paragraph a worthwhile (edifying) experience.
Head and Heart: By far the most common mistake here is to write about the theme itself instead of how the theme is specifically used in the piece of literature you are analyzing–and even more specifically how the theme is used in your text reference.
The first sentence of the head and heart should explicate the quote.
Never write anything along the lines of “This quote shows…” Or “What this quote means is…” Quotes don’t mean anything! The way the plot unfolds means everything, so refer to the action in the piece of literature.
Do not tab the first sentence of the head and heart because it is not a new paragraph.
Check this section and make sure that “every” sentence refers back to the literary piece (and your narrow theme) in some way shape or form.
Finishing Clean
TRANSITION OR CONCLUSION
This part of your paragraph should signal your readers that they have either reached their destination or you are talking the next exit off the highway. There is no reason to be wordy here. Too many words is like trying to clear a muddy puddle with your hand.
The most common mistake here is referencing your broad theme without referencing the piece of literature you just finished analyzing.
Get On: The biggest mistake when transitioning to a new paragraph is when there is no logical flow between paragraphs.
My rule of thumb is that I “should” be able to put a conjunctive adverb (moreover, finally, however, etc) or a conjunction (so, yet, and,or, nor, for, but) between the last line of one paragraph and the first line of the next. If you can’t do that, there might be something more you need to do….
Get Out: It is critical to end a final or single paragraph with a sense of finality, so my advice is to finish it clean.
The most common mistake here is to introduce a new thought that you haven’t already discussed in your paragraph–or you forget to refer back to your one-word theme AND the literary piece.
Never refer back only to the broad theme. This final sentence needs to capture your narrow theme PLUS the added insight of your explanation and explication about the piece of literature you are analyzing.
Final Thoughts
I am not so vain as to think that my rubrics are the end all/ be all of how you should write or present a writing piece, but it is massively important that you learn to answer a writing prompt or assignment with meticulous attention to the details that are important to your “boss” (whatever shape that boss takes). If you are working in a supposed “collaborative” group and your partners are not exactly collaborating, you need to take control of the final product before it is presented to “the boss.”
My mission as a teacher is to help you create and appreciate well-crafted words in a variety of genres, to develop solid time-tested skills as a writer and to share your work in a dynamic writing community. It is an irony of my class that it is both easy to do well and difficult to sustain through the ups and downs of a busy year. I expect a lot. I give a lot. I expect you to give damn about what we do, and I expect you to figure out how to do what I require you to do. Do what I ask and do it with an honest and sustained effort and you will not only do extremely well, but you will also become a much better, a more insightful, more confident and more willing writer and reader. I will measure you more by what you try to do than what you do.
I have never had a student come back to me years later and lament the time and effort he or she put into my classes—either at Fenn or in my workshops outside of Fenn, if only because the ability to put your thoughts into powerful words is a skill that will be tested and needed throughout your life, and the time spent now is time well spent, and the rewards are real and palpable and incredibly useful. Likewise, learning to appreciate great literature—stuff that has inspired, consoled, enlightened and energised generations of readers will always be a sustaining source of energy and wisdom in your lives.
But only if you give a damn—and that is something that can only come from you, day in and day out.
The very nature of words is a constantly evolving paradigm. A system that served one generation may well not serve the current generation or the next generation. When I first started teaching English, I simply considered words to be ink spread on a page; whereas, now words are spread on websites, chatrooms, blogs, songs, podcasts, videos, emails, presentations, and discussion threads, but in every situation where words are required the essential skills of the writer have been the same for hundreds—if not thousands—of years. I have changed. The power of words has not.
It is these skills we will study, emulate, and practice. It is in enduring literature where we will look for guidance and inspiration. It is with each other that we will share our work, comment on each other’s works and learn to live, think, and act like true writers. This requires trust. Trust in me and trust in you. No one is born a writer, though it may seem like someone else writes better than you. In the same way, I am sure there are better soccer players than you, better runners than you, better musicians than you, or better actors than you, but that doesn’t stop you—or it should not stop you—from doing what it takes to become better at what you love or what you feel you want to become.
Simply put: writing is something you can and should put in front of the cart of life. Well-written and well spoken words will open the doors and widen the paths you take through life. Henry David Thoreau, a local Concord author, once wrote: “You can’t kill time without wounding eternity.” Wise words, but only if you live them—only if you can grasp that time needs be lived fully in every moment of life, not in half-hearted and dull responses to the opportunities that are within your reach at this very moment. My earnest hope is that I can give you opportunities that are worth embracing, worth doing and worth the effort to embrace with your mind and heart and soul and being, and at the end of this year you can honestly say, “I gave a damn and did not wound eternity by killing the time given to me just for being alive at this moment in this good and nurturing place.”
This was certainly not an ideal way for us to start the year, but we will make the best of it. From here on in, this site will be a place you need to visit and comment on in a regular way. I will be posting your upcoming assignments and grades on Finalsite, but the details, rubrics, videos, and other essential information will always be here. I will do my grading and commenting on iTunes U. I am sure you will find iTunes U to be an easy place to create and submit your work. I used iTunes this summer with my students and it worked flawlessly.
If I post something in the Freshman English category (assignments and posts) I do expect you to read it and post a comment that at least lets me know you have read and thought about what is posted.
We will spend some time in class getting your Weebly sites up and running again. If you do not have one, let me know, and I will create one for you.
I am pretty pumped for the year. If you have read this far, let me know how your summer reading was!
Mrs. Roeber never seemed to let Jimmy go outside, which, to my thinking as an 11 year old, was why he was so smart. Most days after school, I’d rush two houses down the street and get Danny Gannon to come out and play. Then the two of us would go to Jimmy’s house next door. If Mrs Roeber answered, she would always be polite and say something like, “Jimmy needs to catch up on some science work. Perhaps he can play later.” If Jimmy answered, he’d usually be out of breath from running upstairs from his basement “office” and plead with us not to give up on him—or at the very least go out back and talk to him through the basement window.
So me and Danny would sneak out back and lay on our stomachs on the pokey grey gravel outside his basement window. Five feet below, Jimmy would be doing his work at his workbench (which, in all honesty, was a pretty cool place). I always wished I was smarter, so I could do his work for him and get him outside to play. I was better than Jimmy at a lot of things, but those things never got graded, and most of those things you couldn’t appreciate until “later in life.” But, to my Tom Sawyer way of thinking, I preferred being outside and average to being inside and smart. Danny was an outside kid, and smart, too, and that always troubled me, but not enough to let it call my inside/smart: outside/not smart philosophy into question. Danny’s voice was always the one that tried to tell me that the sledding jump was too high, or that branch would not support my weight, or those snakes would bite, or that we couldn’t run faster than a nest of bees we just destroyed.
Once we got Jimmy outside, he was like a mad scientist: ”We’ll, just have to see how high Fitz can go on his sled,“ or, ”I’ll distract the snake so Fitz can grab it from behind,“ or ”Bees have been clocked flying at 80 miles per hour.“ Looking back, we probably seemed like the gang that couldn’t shoot straight, and we did tend to go our different ways as we grew older, but we always still manage to reconnect somehow, and it doesn’t seem like we are a day older. It’s kind of hard to put into words because Danny and Jimmy might not be the best friends of my daily life, but they will always be the best friends I need.
Just thinking of the three of us together is like a window opening to a cool and welcome breeze. And the coolest thing is the window is always there. It might be that the only thing we actually had in common was living next door to each other, but still, we made it work; we made it real, and we made it last.
No choice. No problem. We did it together.
II
Life was pretty simple with Danny and Jimmy and me. There was no forethought in doing things together. It was more just some manifestation of a primordial DNA strand that we responded to with a visceral enthusiasm bordering on mania. We are born to be tribal in nature. We expect and need to be a part of a community, for we know in our bones and marrow that we really can’t go it alone. There is no Huck without Jim; there is no Odysseus without Athena, and there is no you without some hand that will pull you out of the muck you have made of your life. Thank God for the primitive man patiently stalking some larger prey to have the primitive women scrounging for tubers, berries, grains and millet, which no doubt provided the greater sustenance. We live and breathe a collaborative atmosphere of trust and unfathomable magnanimity.
Then why I did I always hate group projects, but, more telling: why did I change my mindset and my actions?
I hated group projects because they never seemed like group projects. What seemed in theory to be group work was really like some industrial factory spewing its incessant belching of traditions with an unequal and unsatisfying distribution of work and wealth, where the smart kids continued to be rewarded the lion’s share of honors, while the poor students (myself especially) continually paired themselves with a misfit tribe of friends who accepted the inequities of the classroom as a normal and an immutable reality of life.
Danny, Jimmy and I went to the same schools: Jimmy was—and still is—brilliant beyond my wildest dreams. Danny, too, seemed way smarter than me and probably smarter than most of the smart kid, though tempered with a shy and steady reserve (which by teacher default kept him from the brilliant crowd) that often forced him into our regressive and unrepentant tribe. As close as the three of us were in the ecosystem of our townie neighborhood, our schools erected barrier after barrier to keep us apart. While in school those walls did an admirable job of keeping us apart, and so we were only able to collaborate in our feral joys outside of school. Jimmy was smart, but not arrogant, and never willingly sought the tribe that formed around him, for when the academic birds of a feather were called to gather together, he was soon surrounded by the peacocks and strutting roosters of Concord, all brilliant in their own ways and inclinations, while my tribe and I wore our B’s and C’s and D’s like gang tattoos on our bruised and battered torsos.
Really, not much has changed between now and then, and while kids nowadays are more polite and empathetic, and at least begrudgingly inclusive, the iron curtains in our classrooms are still there–just more subtly erected. The academically accomplished kids are almost insanely driven to preserve the status quo—and if paired with the less accomplished, they will go to extreme lengths to do all of the work themselves. They do not want their brilliance to be diminished by including the less accomplished, less fortunate, and less able, and they will labor far into the night to correct the sloth and ineptitude of their partners. Ironically, it is an ignominy that they will suffer in silence, mostly because “collaboration” is part of the rubric—and in the end they all need to say it was a collaborative effort, and kids like me who simply sprayed the red paint on a smoke-spewing model of Mount Vesuvius remained mute in the complicit code of silence that dictated our lives.
So the rich preserved their wealth, while the poor squandered the chance to make a mark on their yardstick of time. The paradigm was set long ago: one law for the rich; one for the poor. It always seems strange and telling that the rich suburban and private schools constantly tout the quality of their students and teachers, when in reality that are just exposing the “quantity” of wealth and resources at their disposal. It used to piss me off, and I was satisfied in a smug way that at least I saw through the smoke and mirrors, until a point in time not long ago when I realized that, as Jesus said, “There will be poor always,” and I just needed to redefine what wealth really is and how it is spread around a classroom. I needed to unearth the inherent wealth in every kid I taught and see every one of my students as a treasure trove of possibility and make everything they did together engage that same passion of Danny, Jimmy and me hucking stones at bee’s nests. Every kid has to have a pile of stones to throw at the nest and the legs to run as fast as he or she can; otherwise, there is no skin in the game, no shared risks—and, ultimately, no shared triumphs.
III
Every classroom in every school on the planet is a blessed mix of possibilities—rich or poor, enriched or impoverished—with a mix of talents, drive, will—and more than a share of abnegating responsibility. As a kid, I hated group projects, and this hatred has fed my myopic biases for the past fifty years. They sucked as a student because I was never a full part of the group—and as a teacher, the group projects sucked because I would see the same inequities I despised perpetuated in my own lame assignments. I kept unleashing the same monster that swallowed me in my childhood. I was stuck in the stream of my own inbred traditions, though convinced I was nobly doing my duty as a teacher.
My epiphany came when I realized that I never really taught what the word collaboration means. None of us can grasp the wisps of what we don’t understand, but I had aways just assumed that we had a common understanding of the word—to do things together (whatever that really means) but while reading and teaching Moby Dick with my ninth grade classes, I found myself one day discussing the crew of the Pequod—and what a wild mix of nationalities it is: native american harpooners, dreamy adventure seeking deckhands, carpenters, sail menders, lookouts, blacksmiths, cooks and mates all bound up in a common adventure. Roles were defined, but in the fray of the chase every man took to the boats towards a common and fathomable goal. And what a success it was until the monomaniacal Ahab stepped to the deck and pointed the Pequod in his obsessive direction—to kill the White Whale. What was collaboration became duty and fate.
In discussing that twist of the plot, we started a conversation about what collaboration really is, and by the convolutions of discussion, we extended the metaphor of Moby Dick to help us define what is meant by collaboration. Collaboration is a shared adventure with shared rewards wherein every person is due his or her rightful share—the share agreed upon before setting foot on deck. No collaborative effort is inherently equal, for our skills and strengths on any given project are too disparate—nor will the rewards ever be the same for we will alway reap in proportion to what we sew and tend and what we sign on to do.—but the journey and the chase can and should be exciting and rewarding for everyone, and no one person should ever be allowed to alter the common purpose of the voyage, and every person has to accept the mundane roles on quiet seas and rise from the forecastle when all hands are needed on deck, and every man has to drop everything and pull on the oars in precise rhythm when chasing the whale—and, most importantly, every person needs to be on that ship for the length of the voyage.
The Pequot’s crew was hoping to sail home to Nantucket with a belly full of oil that could be measured and assessed down to the last drop, and every part of that motley crew would know and expect, and receive a fair share of the reward.
So now I not only love group projects, but I believe that they are the heart and soul of my classroom. They are what binds us together as a community. They are opportunities to share strengths and work through weaknesses and differences. They help us recognize and respect the dynamic power of uncommon backgrounds pushing towards a common dream—not merely a goal. They help individuals find new and deeper sources of strengths that he or she never fathomed before.
But collaborative projects are not all roses and perfume. As a teacher you have to accept that it will take twice as long as you planned, and if you can’t be flexible, you are no better than Ahab—while at the same time your students need you as a captain who is stern and unforgiving and expects duty to be dutiful, who gathers the crew on deck when need be and frees them to their chores without being meddlesome, and when the blubber of the whale is being boiled down in the tryworks, your classroom will be a bloody mess. And just as in life people will bitch and moan and convince themselves that their individual effort and persistence is what is keeping the boat afloat–and if that happens, call the crew on deck again–and again if needed. True collaboration is an honest day of hard and dirty work–not a bunch of friends trying to pass off sloth as substance.
And well all is said and done, and your students are tired, bloody, and bruised, give them their fair share of the split—and reward them, damn it, reward them.
I, on my side, require of every writer, first or last, a simple and sincere account of his own life, and not merely what he has heard of other men’s lives; some such account as he would send to his kindred from a distant land…
~Henry David Thoreau, Walden
I’ve always made my way down to the rivers. Even now as I sit on my back porch, I hear the rush of the Assabet a half mile to the north, already filled with an early and surprising winter melt. Any leaf of me could fall and be carried back to the fork of the Sudbury and Concord rivers. My whole life has been a continual returning to these three rivers and my common ground—the water, fields, woods and village of Concord and now, just to the west, the small mill town of Maynard.
More and more I remember less and less, but there are still granite walls that will not change for another thousand years and still a few hills to defy development; still a few farmstands with the same trucks and tractors parked by weathered sheds, and still a few cantankerous old souls hiding their smiles behind seventy or eighty New England winters. I wonder if they remember the kid who worked for them so long ago? I wonder what they remember? I wonder what they wish they’d kept?
This collection is my way of keeping what I remember. Musketaquid is the native name for the Concord River. Someone once told me that it meant “slow moving river.” It seemed like a fine and apt name to me, so much so that it didn’t bother me to discover the actual translation is “grass grown river.” The fields are now all wooded over—a bramble of Hawthorne and Swamp Maple hiding almost every view; but it still a slow moving river—and always will be. Even the Nipmucks would have to agree with that.
These songs, poems and ramblings are what I have to add to the rivers. They are the small streams of my experience becoming a smaller part of the Musketaquid, which, hopefully, flows into some greater sea of understanding and insight. They are the good, the bad, and the ugly drafts of my life scattered in here with the randomness of the winds and tides that have driven me and carried me to so many shores—and have always brought me home.
These are the poems, stories, rambles, and reflections that have been written over a long run of time, usually close to home, but often in far off places, and sometimes simply as conversations with my students, friends, or family, but always within dreamshot of the beautiful, beautiful rivers that ramble through my home.
Thanks, and I hope you enjoy some part of what is here.
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